Claiming our right to be seen and heard

One of the key things I see women struggle with in putting themselves out there – onstage AND in life – is in giving themselves permission to be seen and heard. 

It’s New Years Eve and I am dancing my ass off.  I love to dance.  I love surrendering to music in the way that dance allows.  It’s very different from playing: for me a less engaged way of giving in and interacting with music.  I love letting music move my body.

So… I’m on the dance floor, having a great time, mostly unaware of people around me, caught up in my own little world of sound and movement.

Then there is a whisper in my ear “You are such a great dancer…”  That was the beginning; I won’t write here what he actually said….

What the hell ladies!  Can’t we enjoy feeling sexy and moving sexy without getting sleazily hit on???

Now before I go on a crazy tangent, I want you to know, I met my boyfriend on the dance floor.  In the appropriate situation and with a kinder approach, I think it is great for men to feel they can compliment us, ask us to dance, tell us we are great dancers.  It is OKAY to be sex and to have attention on us.  But, there is a line where it becomes uncomfortable and inappropriate.  How can we allow ourselves to move freely, tune into our sensuality, feel the amazing power of our beautiful sexy bodies and be seen without our bodies being diminished and our sense of power and self brought down by often unintentionally inappropriate comments?  We are raised with so many mixed messages: be sexy, but don’t attract the WRONG kind of attention.  Don’t talk about sex…don’t be too sexy… don’t be “that” girl.  We play the innocent, sometimes denying ourselves fun and pleasure, and we struggle with our longing to be seen – and the constant feeling that it is unsafe, immoral, and selfish.

It is the kind of experience I had on New Year’s Eve that teach us to shrink, and hide.  “Oh – if I’m attracting that kind of attention, it must be my fault, I’m doing something wrong, I shouldn’t dance like this.”  We don’t want THAT kind of attention so sometimes we avoid attention all together.  

What if wanting to be seen simply means that we know we have an incredible gift to offer the world, and by allowing people to see us we are giving them permission to receive this gift.  What if attracting attention is the natural impact of you sharing your beautiful self authentically with others.  When it comes down to it, it is totally OKAY that YOU WANT TO BE SEEN!  Because, come on, if we are honest, who doesn’t want to be seen? Who doesn’t want to be recognized for the extraordinary human being she is?  Who doesn’t want to have her beauty, wisdom, sensuality, love and freedom of expression honored, witnessed, respected, seen, heard and celebrated?


She Sings Out Loud is about being able to be seen and heard on OUR terms!  To allow ourselves to be witnessed for the unique, beautiful, divine, sensual, feminine, vocal beings we are!

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure…. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.  For when you let your own light shine, you unintentionally give others permission to do the same.”  ~ Marianne Williamson

Being onstage is about letting our light shine.  It is about giving the greatest gift of our voice, and the healing power of our music to others.  It is about creating a sacred space where we get to connect and be human together.  And, to do this…. We must BE SEEN and BE HEARD.

The theme for the March Voice Circle is “Our right to be seen and heard.”  I invite you to come share and explore what keeps you from allowing yourself to be seen and heard and what helps you let yourself be seen and heard.  Share your voice, share your wisdom, connect and engage in community through song and discussion.

I will share with you some very special tools to help you give yourself permission to be heard and take your rightful place on the stage of your dreams.

For today, I invite you to practice being seen everywhere you go.  Let yourself shine as you get your coffee, walk down the street, dance, speak and sing.

I love you,


Posted on February 28, 2014 .