Yes, I am that...

Riding my bike through the misty romantically lit Montreal night.  We see the musicians gathered in the back alley as we park our bikes and enter la place de la scene. I’m three rows from the stage, waiting.  I know all the songs, but I’ve never before been in her presence.  It has been a while since I was this excited for a show.  And, it has been a while since I KNEW I would be that inspired.

She comes onto the stage dressed in torn white jeans and a white blouse, her hair gelled high, and worn long.  She takes what I would call a badass earth mother stance: legs slightly spread, feet planted firmly on the ground; I can feel that her energy is low in her core as she rests her electric guitar against her belly.  My Brightest Diamond is an incredible example of all that I stand for, teach, and aspire to be.  She is raw and real, offering her pure expression to us with love and honesty.  She embodies feminine power in all capacities -- the raw, wrathful, chaotic; the sweet, receptive, nurturing and soft.

I’ve heard it said that true love is “your soul’s recognition of its counterpart in another.”  That’s what I felt watching her. A tugging deep within, a voice that says “Yes. I know that. I am that… I am my own version of the amazing energy and healing that pours from her.” We are sisters, intimately connected in what we bring to the world.  And when I say me, I mean her and I… and…you.

It is easy to hide from our greatness. I often get caught up in my own fear, or the opinions that come in from the outside telling me what I should be or aspire to be… or what I should not…. I obsess over “the strategy,” how I will become great rather than honoring my power within and owning that I am great now.  These fears can make me think that “the strategy” will somehow bring me to the place where “success” lives. But, when faced with someone’s raw expression, or the open face of a child, or anything else that is pure presence, it becomes clear to me what it truly is to live and to create.  More than that, I sink into my inner knowing that it IS possible to live our full truth, no matter how hard it can feel sometimes.

Denying our greatness is getting attached to “the right way” or thinking too small.  We question what we feel called for in this moment, giving it up for some past or limited idea of what we can be.  We follow the herd, the route laid out for us, hoping one day it will take us to the place where we want to be, a place where we are finally good enough and others will recognize this. And, right now we are somehow content to feel unworthy.  When we see someone embody that which we aspire to be, we could either go into our disempowering dialogue about not being good enough, or we could own the spark of recognition and say “Yes.  I am that.  I own being that.  And I own where I am on the journey of becoming MY version of what I recognize.”

I get easily caught up in the questions “How do I build my audience? How can I tour more? How will I finish my album? How do I move from the small stages to the big ones and will I ever get there?” It all feels like a really big deal and sometimes I am desperately afraid I won’t accomplish any of it.  But in the face of raw expression, none of that matters.  All that matters is that I show up and create.  My Brightest Diamond is not looking for any validation; she just is who she is and lets that shine. I too am learning to touch my longing to connect with others through song and to trust that fully.  Then I can remain open to how it will manifest in the physical world.  I cannot presume to know what my journey will be.  All I can do is show up and sing, right now.

 

How are you showing up to create, right now?  


Who inspires you to know “Yes. I am that…?”

Posted on July 16, 2015 .